Hope in the Face of Tragedy

Tragedy strikes us all at some point.

I experienced a recent tragedy in my life – I had a miscarriage a few weeks ago. We’re all affected differently by these kinds of situations and I want to share how my faith helped me deal with this loss.

I needed to remind myself that sometimes God answers our prayers the way we want Him to and sometimes He doesn’t. In this instance He did not. I had been threatening a miscarriage for a few days but from a medical standpoint, it appeared that everything would be fine. The baby had a heartbeat and was growing but after a few days things turned for the worse and I lost the baby.

At first I did not feel peace. I felt confused and I did not understand why my prayers were not answered the way I thought they should be. I wanted to know why it had to happen and although I was praying for understanding, I was angry and accusing. I didn’t receive the answers I asked for.

After a few days of trying to distract myself from the situation I realized that distraction wasn’t making me feel any better. I knew the only way I could feel peace was to accept the Lord’s will and to ask for peace. It is hard to accept the Lord’s will – it is easier to be angry with God. Only after I accepted that this must be what God wanted for me did I feel the peace I was seeking.

Don’t get me wrong, I am still sad. I have probably cried every day since it happened, but I’m still able to feel peace. I have learned that happiness is not a mood – it is a state of being. I am comforted because I know God loves me and will not abandon me. I found that I can be happy and sad at the same time. I don’t understand why it happened but I do know that it happened for a reason. I know that God is aware of me and that He loves me. I know that happiness is possible even through tragedy because I am experiencing it right now.

10 thoughts on “Hope in the Face of Tragedy

  1. Natalie

    I like to believe there are extra special blessings in store for people with attitudes like yours Lindsey. Thank you for sharing this difficult thing — creating life is one of the most divine gifts afforded to us in this life and I can’t imagine the devastation of losing one.

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  2. Lindsay

    I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through this right now (of course, it sounds like you’re doing an admirable job of it). I think this post has even more meaning for me because I know you personally and I know you are not just a “put on a happy face, everything is always great” kind of person — so I know you really mean it when you say you are both sad and happy. I hope you have as caring and sensitive people around you now as you were for me while I was going through miscarriage and postpartum issues.

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  3. Lindsey

    Thanks for your comment Lindsay. Fortunately, I do have caring people around me. As you know, these things are not easy but I am grateful for that I was able to be with you during your experience it has really helped me through all of this. So, thank you!

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  4. Iowa Mom

    I recently lost a son. I also find comfort in knowing my Heavenly Father loves me and knows of my broken heart. I can relate to your both happy and sad days. I miss my son terribly but know that in Heavenly Father’s plan my son is where the Lord can use him and needs him most. The daily void is still there. But I understand the eternal plan enough to know my son will be mine for the eternities and we will be a family for the eternities as well. The here and now can be difficult and I cherish all the memories and look forward to being together again.
    My thoughts and prayers are with all those that have faced tragedy or mourn a loss.

    Reply
  5. Bertrand Russell

    It is clear that the fundamental doctrines of Christianity demand a great deal of ethical perversion before they can be accepted. The world, we are told, was created by a God who is both good and omnipotent. Before He created the world He foresaw all the pain and misery that it would contain; He is therefore responsible for all of it. It is useless to argue that the pain in the world is due to sin. In the first place, this is not true; it is not sin that causes rivers to overflow their banks or volcanoes to erupt. But even if it were true, it would make no difference. If I were going to beget a child knowing that the child was going to be a homicidal maniac, I should be responsible for his crimes. If God knew in advance the sins of which man would be guilty, He was clearly responsible for all the consequences of those sins when He decided to create man. The usual Christian argument is that the suffering in the world is a purification for sin and is therefore a good thing. This argument is, of course, only a rationalization of sadism; but in any case it is a very poor argument. I would invite any Christian to accompany me to the children’s ward of a hospital, to watch the suffering that is there being endured, and then to persist in the assertion that those children are so morally abandoned as to deserve what they are suffering. In order to bring himself to say this, a man must destroy in himself all feelings of mercy and compassion. He must, in short, make himself as cruel as the God in whom he believes. No man who believes that all is for the best in this suffering world can keep his ethical values unimpaired, since he is always having to find excuses for pain and misery.

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    1. Lindsey

      Bertrand, I appreciate you visiting our site and commenting. Suffering is a difficult concept to reconcile with. I am not sure how familiar you are with the Mormon faith in particular so I though I would clarify a few key points that we believe that are different from many mainstream Christian sects. First, we do not believe that we are born with sin. Because of the atonement of Jesus Christ we believe that everyone is born pure and stays pure until we are old enough to know right from wrong (we believe that age to be 8). We believe that we are able to repent from out wrong doing and remain pure throughout life. We do not believe that all or even most suffering and catastrophes are due to sin. Second, we believe that we lived with God before we were born and that God explained to us that life on Earth would include significant pain and suffering because of the nature of mortal life but that we would not be alone. Christ would suffer all of our pains and trials and he would bring us comfort and strength. We agreed to come to Earth because the reward would be greater than the suffering. We do believe that there are spirits who chose not to come to Earth because they did not want to suffer mortal trials. We believe that after our mortal lives on Earth are over we will be free from all suffering and keep all the strength and perspective we gained on Earth.

      You mentioned walking through a children’s hospital. I am a nurse and I have worked in a neonatal ICU and a pediatric oncology floor at a major children’s hospital. I have see very closely the suffering that many young and innocent children go through. The children that I worked with displayed more courage and strength than anyone I have ever seen. Though they suffered they still found joy in life. There is a youtube video that portrays what I witnessed by working with these children,
      I do not believe those children deserved the suffering they went through, nor does any child. But I do believe we grow from suffering. Because of the suffering that I have endured I know I am a stronger more capable individual than I ever could be without it. I chose to share such a personal experience in my post because I know suffering is so individual. I don’t speak for anyone else, but through my suffering with the loss of my pregnancy I have felt great love from God. God does not want me to suffer, he was not punishing me, so because I turned to him he has provided relief from the suffering. The physical loss is still there but the emotional suffering has been healed due to God’s love and comfort. I hope my comment has been helpful in providing some insight and clarification into our beliefs.

      Reply
  6. Teppo

    Lindsay,

    My prayers are with you. Thank you for being willing to share what you have learned from such a difficult experience. You are a great example to me!

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  7. Jen

    So sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Thanks for having the courage to write this post; a call for all of us to look at the bigger picture is always sorely needed, especially when we go through difficult times. But that doesn’t mean things like this don’t hurt, we’re only human after all. Way to heal courageously, Lindsey!

    Reply

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